(no subject)

I posted this in the feminist community to a person asking why certain groups could get away with using certain words. The general answer was "reclamantion", but I have a slightly different take on it.

Anyone can use a hateful word if the people who hear it recognizes that the speaker is not prejudiced in the way the word normally implies. Or perhaps I should say that you can use these negative words as long as your audience knows you don't mean it.

So, members of a group automatically get a pass on the hateful words associated with that group. Black people can call each other "nigger" because they are rarely prejudiced against black people in general. Others will not get this free pass. However, if the speaker's audience knows the speaker well enough to know that he/she is not prejudiced (for instance, very close friends) or the speaker lets the audience know beforehand (in a plausible way) that the speaker is not prejudiced (for example, at the end of a diatribe against prejudice, or spoken with heavy sarcasm), that speaker can use this set of words (although advisedly).

Basically, assholes use these words to try to manipulate people of different groups. If you don't want to be taken for an asshole, don't use these words or make sure your audience is very clear on where you're coming from. If you are an asshole, don't be surprised when people decide to not take your abusive crap.